Impersonating Kenny

For years Kenny and I sounded amazingly alike on the phone. We both have what I guess is a distinct Smithwick accent.

I’m doubtful that Kenny ever took advantage of that. My wife admits to getting us confused a few times. Maybe they can tell us if any of those conversations ever went hay-wire.
If they did, I never heard about it.

On the other hand, I can’t tell you how much confusion I caused by letting different ones think they were talking to Kenny when I was the one they were actually talking to.

Our Grannie Ruby was easy. All I’d have to say is “Grannie has Karen been by today?” With that I’d plant the seed that it must be Kenny, for Ronnie wouldn’t be asking about Karen of all people. I’d lead the poor woman down the path of confusion that may take Kenny days to straighten out.

But the fun was really if I was riding with Kenny, which in our adult lives, meant Kenny, the big – “I got to run in here for a second – and then come out a half hour later”. (BTW: That was only a one way street with him. If I did him that way, he’d be in there in about minute or two checking to see why I was taking so long – you just can’t believe the impatience there is in that boy)

I always enjoyed waiting on him because if the phone rang, (that’s back before cell phones – only being mobile phones installed in the pickup) I’d pick it up and start talking. We were competitors much of the time so perhaps, I could get a lead on a project or see who he’d pissed off lately. It’s easier to get your butt chewed on if you are a proxy for someone else. If it ever got into too dangerous ground, I’d simply explain that you have the wrong Lewis and need to call back a little later.

The real jewels of conversation was when those girlfriends would call. He always had girlfriends calling. I’ve been hit on, talked dirty to and I think even proposed to. One thing about it, it was never a boring conversation. The only hard part was deciding when to cut the conversation short or if Kenny happened to get back before the phone call climaxed.

There are a couple of gals that used to wouldn’t show up if they knew I was around, after a steamy conversation had taken place. But me being the gentleman I am, I won’t mention names.

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