On Being OCD

It may sound strange that I, Ronnie Lewis have OCD tendencies, having spent the past half century building sewer systems to take people’s human waste to a place of treatment. This required me and my men to actually crawl off in the human waste, waist deep. I’m sorry to say neck deep a time or two. But a man gotta do what a man gotta do.

Now back to the OCD thing. I hate to handle opening a trash can lid to deposit my trash inside. If I can take the trash that I’m depositing and quickly use it to facilitate the lid lifting, throw the lid open far enough that the trash goes in before the lid smacks shut, then I’m fine.

Here’s the thing, I like to eat a cheeseburger at Five Guys Burgers on occasion. But there they have a trash can lid that is spring loaded. That spring is so tight that a feller could easily get his hand caught up and need my freehand to extricate myself. So to avoid that, since they hand you your burger in a sack, even if you eat in, I will just wedge it in the door and leave it for the next person to complete the task.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t enjoy putting stuff off on another. In fact if I see someone leave a grocery cart sitting out in the parking lot, I’ll walk over and deliver it to its proper place. Of course those grocery carts are probably more filthy than a trash can lid.

Here we go to wrap this up, I’ve started eating at Chick Fil A more and more because they have recognized what a problem I have with trash cans, so they have motion detectors that open the door for me. That’s not the only thing I like about Chick Fil A, besides it’s probably a lot healthier than a greasy burger. And those people know how to keep the line moving, inside or out in the drive-thru.

Just so y’all don’t think my weirdness stops there, if I go in a public restroom and there ain’t an available urinal, I’m more likely to sit down to pee than touch the toilet seat. I conclude from all this that really my hands are mostly where my OCD resides.

2 thoughts on “On Being OCD

  1. Your analysis, locating the problem somewhere “in your hands”, seems to the point. I wonder, going back to the initial comments about sewer lines, where your hands were while wading in the waste. I’m imagining “high above your head”.

    Liked by 1 person

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