Never A Broken Bone

Hey folks, can we make this about me for just one minute. As if I don’t have a pretty bad habit of doing just that. I’ve told about everything that has ever happened in my life. Almost. Every near miss.

Miraculously I’ve never had a broken bone. In my story about going for the Army draft physical I told about crushing my foot. There we no bone fractures. The bones had what Dr. Allen called radial cracks, I think. There were bones that had longitudinal cracks but nothing fractured, if that makes sense. He bandaged my foot but no cast. That was when I was 18 or 19 years old.

Then when I was in my 30’s I started have a pain in my left foot. I went to a podiatrist. When he did X-rays there several bones that had the same longitudinal cracking in them. I’m not sure if it were the same bones that never healed, but it seems likely they were.

He put my foot in a cast. It wasn’t a plaster cast like I had always seen. Instead it was fiberglass. I was familiar with only plaster casts because Kenny had several broken bones when we were kids. I remember him whining about how much it itched down inside the cast.

I saw what he had complained about within minutes of leaving the doctors office. It was driving me insane.

I went home and decided to cut the cast off of my foot. Before I was finally able to free myself from the bondage that doctor had put me in, I had broken every knife and every pair of scissors in the house.

Madeline was not happy with me. Not only for breaking all the cutlery or for not follow doctors orders. She thought it was the craziest thing anyone could do to start cutting a cast off within minutes of getting it put on. But I could tell that she had never worn a cast.

When the doctors office kept calling because I never went back to get the cast taken off I didn’t know what to tell them. One day when they called, I answered and recognized it was the doctors office. I told them I was sorry to inform them that their patient was my dad and he had been killed in a car wreck and I thought they buried him with the cast on.

We never heard another word from the foot doctor.

I just took it easy and didn’t jump around too much for awhile and it fixed itself.

2 thoughts on “Never A Broken Bone

  1. I’ve only broken one bone,my collarbone which couldn’t be casted…but I tore up my left knee ligaments back in ’78 which required a cast from my hip to foot.It was also shaped in a curve at the knee. I had to motivate using crutches which isn’t fun for 8 weeks…talk about itch..used a metal coat hanger to scratch way down…finally the doctor cut the albatross off and it wasn’t a pretty sight..leg all shrunken and a smell that chase off a maggot…scrubbed that leg and it took two weeks just to straighten back out…finally fit for surveying work and ‘ol man Rippy sent the crew I was on to survey the boundary of the now known “Long Canyon”subdivision off least the silver lining was I requisitioned a brand new Academy special barrel pit from the Party barn down by the crick…only used once for a UT beer bust party…we left it alone all week and they never returned to get it so I took it as my own ..finally had to retire that pit about twenty years later..put several bottoms in it…wife finally made me get rid of her [the pit not her]..dang near made me cry..great pit…

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