I was relaxing in the hot tub killing time, by running through Facebook, when I ran across a link for life insurance. I thought, what if I bought a policy that upon my departing this life, my wife could have a windfall of funds that would allow her to make a few more trips or do something pleasurable to make my passing a bit more worthwhile for her.

It wasn’t anything I was for sure going to do, but it would be easier to assess whether or not to do it, based on the costs involved.

It was about a 10 click process to give them the info they required.

I was at about step 8 and my phone rang. Sure enough it was a guy ready to sign me up. He wasn’t actually the one to sign me up, but had me hold while he got me with the right person in my area. Not bad, that was about a 2 minute wait. I rolled over in my head just hanging up and find another form of relaxation.

Once the guy, the actual guy that was going to quote me the price, got on he was a nice enough chap. He asked me question after question. Sometimes we replowed the same ground several times. I remained patient.

Then there was a point when he needed to let me listen to a 4 to 5 minute recording of a lady explaining the rules and regulations. At the end I needed to say my name, todays date and say “I agree”. That became my digital signature.

Then my now friend of the past several minutes came back on the line and ask many of the same questions he already had before.

I finally got the big payoff. For $135 dollars per month I would have a level term policy that would pay $55,000 upon my death. That is if I died sometime in the next 15 years.

Okay that seemed reasonable, given my current age.

$55,000 will provide several trips and that gets us to an age 85 1/2. After that she’s out of luck and her globe trotting days should reach their expiration date by that time.

I could tell things were coming to an end with this conversation, as there was nothing else he could possibly ask. Then he said there was another recording that he would need me to listen to. It was about a minute and a half. I informed him that I was setting a timer and once it reached 1 minute and 30 seconds, I was pressing the end call button. “Wait, it may be closer to 2 minutes”.

I relented and agreed to the two minutes. I’m such a push over. I digitally signed the final recording.

Just then the fellow said “guess what”? I replied “we are finally done with this”.

He said “no, it just said you were declined. I’m not sure, I’ve never had this happen before”.

To which I said “good now I don’t have to go inside and explain to my wife that I have been on the phone for the past hour trying to spend more money”.

Of course I was exaggerating. I looked and it was only a 46 minute conversation or should I say waste of time.