“Mr. Lewis, this is Sam Jones calling from Medicare”. (said with a middle eastern accent)

He told me he is authorized to send me a heart monitor, free of charge from Medicare.

“Hold on young man, I’m here at the Austin Heart Hospital, where they are getting ready to put me in a new heart, you know a heart transplant. You know what that is?” (all said in the most poorly sickly sounding voice I could muster)

He said he did know. So I told him to hold while I got the nurse to come talk to him. He acted very compliant and said he would hold on while I summoned the nurse. I was sitting in the hot tub so I muted my phone and relaxed a while and let the jets pound away on my aching muscles.

A couple minutes later I shut the jets off and returned to the phone where Sam Jones was waiting to talk to the nurse.

“I can’t get the nurse to come, but I heard the doctor out in the hallway, I’ll try to get him to come to the phone, okay?”. He said yes he would wait.

Then the doctor in a stern authoritative voice came on the line “This is Dr. Sam Jones here at The Austin Heart Hospital. Mr Lewis said you need to speak with me”.

This fool then starts explaining that he wants to send a heart monitor to me free of charge. About then Dr. Jones launched into a tirade about them calling this poor man up trying to scam him with the offer of a heart monitor when I’m laying there getting ready for a HEART TRANSPLANT. “You get Mr. Lewis off your scam list right this minute and never call my patient again, do you hear me?”

“Yes sir, I will get his name removed from the list”.

Then I went back to enjoying my soak in the tub.

BTW: Did you notice the guy from Medicare and the Heart Doctor have the same name?