Riding On The Back Of An Elephant

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying anything disparaging about the fairer sex in what I’m fixing to write but you tell me there aren’t differences is in the two sexes.

Back in 2005 we were over in Africa. One day we decide it was a great idea to go on an elephant back tour through the wilds of Zimbabwe. We got on at a big platform with me sitting behind my wife and the lady traveling with us got on another elephant sitting just in front of an Englishman, a stranger.

We weren’t yet out of sight of the starting point before I realized I wasn’t built to ride elephants. Sitting with my legs spread apart was killing me. I hurt from the small of my back to my hips to my ankles, with an especially bad pain in both knees. It wasn’t like I could just get off and walk back to the stable. They had told us to not worry about lions and other wild creatures, because they weren’t likely to attack us on the backs of those pachyderms or at least they never had before.

I have to tell you, that little sashay through the wilderness only lasted about 2 1/2 hours, but seemed like 2 1/2 days. There wasn’t a minute that went by that I wasn’t looking for the end of the trail, to the point of almost wanting to cry it hurt so bad. And I ain’t no cryin sissy.

In fact when we finally got back, all the women folk seems very exhilarated by the experience while all the men could barely walk. It’s like the gals were built for sitting with there legs spread apart.

All I know for sure is that was my first and last ride on the back of an elephant.

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