The Story That Shouldn’t Be Told

There was a guy once that left Houston to go with his wife and a son to Augusta, Ga. to visit yet another son that was training there with the US Army.

This absolute idiot of a guy decided to go on the Atkins Diet while traveling. Not the brightest move I’d say. If a person eats only meat, cheese and eggs for several days, his regularly is not exactly in check if you know what I mean.

The Atkins Diet Plan instructs you to take Psyllium Fiber to help with the above condition.

The time to take a bunch of psyllium fiber may not be right before you head to the airport to take a two plus hour flight back to Houston.

The other thing that a person should know is to actually do as the instructions say. Mix the powder with water. Never eat spoonfuls of the powder and then wash it down with water and coffee.

Timing being what it could be, perhaps eating the powder could cause a sudden and unforeseen need to visit a restroom, just as the seatbelt signs came on as the plane was on approach to Houston Intercontinental Airport. That sudden urge could turn into panic at touchdown.

In this situation, it’s not mind over matter. Psyllium fiber can completely control your life. Driven by a completely uncontrollable urge to get into the bathroom will cause a fellow to charge through a full airplane aisle full of the de-boarding, in the wrong direction. Pushing and shoving folks that are in his path with sweat pouring from every pore.

With the deplaning completely done and the cleaning crews onboard and trying desperately to make entry in said restroom, it becomes an awkward situation for everyone.

All I can say is I wouldn’t suggest doing any of the above. Especially if your two fellow family travelers and a new daughter in law, who had come to the airport to pick them up, are waiting in the parking garage for you to finally get out there. The looks of amazement are nothing that can even be explained.

I hear that this fellow left the plane with at least one less piece of clothing than he boarded the plane with earlier.

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