I have professed that I have chosen to drink very little alcohol in my “adult life”. I think I’ve even said that it’s doubtful that any of my son’s have ever even seen me embarrass myself, at least from being drunk.

Back in the early 80s when we were building the Guadalupe State Park there was a special occasion, maybe our anniversary, where Madeline and I were going to rendezvous out at the German American Restaurant at Buchanan Dam. I think she dropped the boys off at Smithwick before she got there.

Maxine was managing the bar there at the time and was tending bar that night.

In preparation of the night I had done some reading up on a way that if you weren’t used to drinking how to keep it from having too bad of an effect on you. It said to swallow a tablespoon full of olive oil an hour or two before you started drinking. It may have said a teaspoon. I don’t always get into exact measurements.

I left the park and headed up U.S. 281 and since there weren’t any real stores to stop at I waited until I got to Johnson City and pulled in at the little grocery that was on the left side back then. I went in and walked up and down the aisles looking for olive oil. I don’t think olive oil was very popular back then because I never could find any.

I decided second best would be some Mazola Corn Oil. Taken orally, surely that would be just as good as olive oil. I may have over-thought that situation a little, because when I got back in the pickup I decided to drink about half a bottle of it, in case it took more corn oil than it would olive oil to get the same effect. Now this isn’t as crazy as it sounds. It was one of the small bottles.

It actually went down pretty well. It left my mouth feeling a little slick on the inside, but I figured that would go away once I got to the German American and Maxine started mixing me up some of her famous margarita’s.

Well it took several of them just to get the oiliness out of my mouth. By the time Madeline showed up I already had a couple of new best friends. Janice Giesecke and some fellow were there. It was early enough in the evening there weren’t very many there yet. But that didn’t mean Maxine wasn’t busy serving drinks.

I sort of remember Madeline arriving but that’s about all I remember. By the time she got me over to Maxine’s place to spend the night I’m betting she didn’t feel like it was that much of a celebration.

I never did figure out whether drinking that corn oil was a good idea or not. The next morning I sure did have an awful oily taste back in my mouth again. I only imagine that commode looked like the IXTOK 1 Oil Spill that had occurred in the Bay of Campeche of the coast of Mexico not long before.

Wasn’t too long after that we were back up to Maxine’s for one of her weddings. It was an outdoor affair in her backyard. She assigned everyone something to do. My job was to pour champagne all night. There were cases of champagne. Her instructions were to keep everyone’s glasses full. I understood her to say for me to drink a glass every time I poured one for someone else. Since it was her wedding I wanted to please. But that could only last for so long.

I’m not sure we had intended to spend the night there but sure as heck we did. I wasn’t in any shape to leave the premises.

I never have been a big wine drinker but I have a weakness for champagne and it doesn’t matter if it’s expensive or cheap.

I’m not sure if it’s just a coincidence that she’s been present both times I’ve really gotten out of hand in the past 40 something years. I’m not pointing fingers, but I sure watch myself when she’s around.