A few years ago, my wife and I were getting ready to leave for a trip of a lifetime. A trip that I was really excited about. We were flying up to Calgary Canada and getting on a train to spend the next few days traveling west to Vancouver. The train moved along during the daytime, stopping at night, allowing us to sleep in nice hotel rooms.
Once we got to Vancouver, we spent a day or so there then boarded a cruise ship for a trip up to Alaska to see the amazing sights and then back again, where we flew home.
I seldom get excited about going on trips. But this was different. I knew that the landscape and the wildlife would be spectacular. And for the most part, I would know what everyone was saying and every time I ask a question, the people wouldn’t stand there looking at me shrugging their shoulders and babbling on and on with something I didn’t understand.
The problem was a couple of days before we were to leave, we both felt like we were coming down with something. Since it was a trip planned with my brother and his wife, we didn’t want to reschedule it. So we made an appointment with our doctor, that we have both used for years in Austin. I’m doubtful that this very fine doctor really ever put the two of us together, because we always saw him separately and he see’s lots of patients.
This day when we arrived, since we were seeing him for the same thing, either he or the nurse decided it would be the most expeditious to just see us together. Everything moved along fine in tandem with the nurse getting our vitals and what have you.
Finally the moment arrived where the doctor came through the door. He had a very pretty young gal tailing him. An innocent young thing, you could tell by her demeanor. He explained she was a student intern and she would be observing. We told him all about our upcoming trip and how we didn’t want to miss it and was hoping to head off this thing we were feeling.
Everything went good. He listened to each of our breathing, got a swab of each of our throats and sure enough after a few minutes he had a diagnosis. We would both live. He was sure he could give us something to knock it out so we could enjoy the trip. It was a short term deal.
“Is there anything else I can do for either of you” was the next thing I remember. Seeing my chance to make a memory, I said “yes there is Doc. Since we are going on this very fine once in a lifetime trip, do you have some of those samples of Viagra that I keep seeing them talk about on TV” ?
All the while the young intern had her clipboard and she is writing away. I glanced over at my other half and she seemed to be having a hard time breathing. The doctor says sure, he would be happy to supply me with some samples. Rather than leave well enough along, I said, “do you think I’d be better off with either of those other two drugs, Cialis or Levitra pills they are always talking about”? I tried to make it seems as if I had really done my homework on the subject.
He and I launched into a somewhat lengthy discussion about the differences in the three drugs. It seemed to be a real teaching moment for the young gal with the clipboard. She hardly looked up. It was probably the longest two or three minutes of my wife’s life.
Then the doctor and the intern left the room for him to retrieve my samples. I could tell by the steely quite and coldness of that examining room that perhaps I had pushed the envelope just a bit to much.
Soon we were checked out heading to car. I tried to stay a half step in front, but then I heard her say “I’m going to kill you”.
With that I burst into one of the best laughing fits I think I’ve ever had. When I looked at her and she was grinning, I knew my life was safe.
Don’t anyone even think about asking how the pills worked out, because that is a much to personal thing to discuss publicly and I wouldn’t want to embarrass my wife with giving any of the details.