Impersonating Kenny

For years Kenny and I sounded amazingly alike on the phone. We both have what I guess is a distinct Smithwick accent.

I’m don’t know if Kenny ever took advantage of that. My wife admits to getting us confused a few times, but never has told me if any of those conversations ever went really hay-wire.

On the other hand, I can’t even tell you how much confusion I caused or the fun I had becoming Kenny on the phone.

Our Grannie Ruby was easy. All I’d have to say is “Grannie has Karen been by today?” With that, I’d plant the seed that it must be Kenny, for Ronnie wouldn’t be asking about Karen of all people. I’d lead the poor woman down the path of confusion that may take Kenny days to straighten out.

But the fun was really when I would ride along with Kenny during our regular travels around to our job sites. Kenny is known for ” I’ve got to run in here for a second” and then come out a half hour later. He has the long winded conversation down, might I say.

I always enjoyed waiting on him because when his mobile phone rang, I’d pick it up and start talking. That was in the days before cell phones, so the mobile phone was installed in the pickup and not portable like they are now.

We were competitors, so much of the time, I could get a lead on a project or see who he’d pissed off lately. Of course if things got to heated I could always simply explain that they have reach the wrong Lewis and need to call back a little later.

The real jewels of conversation was when the girlfriends would call. He always had girlfriends calling. I’ve been hit on, talked dirty to and I think I may have even been proposed to. One thing about it, it was never a boring conversation. The only hard part was deciding when to cut the conversation short or if Kenny happened to get back before the phone call ended. There were a couple of gals that refused to even come around if they knew I was going to be present, after some of those steamy conversation had taken place.

But me being the gentleman I am, I won’t mention names.

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