Riding Up On The Back Of An Elephant

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying anything disparaging about the fairer sex in what I’m fixing to write but you tell me there aren’t differences is in the two sexes.

Back in the spring of 2004, I think it was, we were over in Africa. One day we decide it would be a great idea to go on an elephant back tour through the wilds of Zimbabwe. We got on, with me sitting behind my wife. We all took off, a long line of the elephants with people on their backs.

We weren’t out of sight of stable, if that is what you call a place for housing elephants, before I realized I wasn’t built to ride on an elephant. Sitting with my legs spread apart was a killer. I hurt from my hips to my ankles, with an especially bad pain in both knees. It wasn’t like I could just get off and walk back to the stable. They had already told us to not worry about lions and other wild creatures, because they weren’t likely to attack us on the backs of those pachyderms or at least never had. But I figured down on the ground they wouldn’t hesitate to get on a man.

I’ll tell you, that little sashay through the wilderness lasted about 2 1/2 hours, but seemed like 2 1/2 days. There wasn’t a minute that went by that I wasn’t looking for the end of the trail. To the point of almost wanting to cry it hurt so bad.

In fact when we finally got back, all the women folk seems very exhilarated by the experience while all the men could barely walk. It’s like the gals were built for sitting all straddled out, with there legs spread apart. I thought a time or two about trying to go sides saddle, but I couldn’t figure out a way to do it without taking a chance of falling off.

I just kept hoping that both legs would finally fall asleep. But they didn’t.

It was truly an adventure, with us seeing lots of wildlife. All I know for sure is that was my first and last journey on the back of an elephant.

2 thoughts on “Riding Up On The Back Of An Elephant

  1. When Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Antonin Scalia rode an elephant together in India, it had a seat on top. I guess they saw you as a Texan in Zimbabwe, and had you ride bareback. I’m glad that you lived to tell the tale.

    Liked by 1 person

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